There was an ad on television today for Red Robin. They don't have a restaurant in Lancaster, but I think they have one up towards Harrisburg. They were advertising sliders.

Earlier today, I heard an ad for Applebees, featuring genuine sliders.

Later on, there was an ad for Friendly's, featuring sliders.

They Must Think We're Stupid

Sliders are small ground-stuff sandwiches. Not small as in the original 15c hamburgers at McDonald's, which now cost something like 65c. Small like the original 10c sandwiches at White Castle.

You'll notice that I don't call the White Castles "hamburgers." They contain a good deal of organ meat in them, especially liver. That's one reason they're so tasty. But when you sweat up some onions on a grill, stack square patties on top of them, each patty having five holes, so that the patties can steam to doneness, then place the bottom and top above each patty, so that the bun is steamed as well, you end up with something special.

Some people call 'em gut bombs. More commonly, the term used is one from WWII: the slider. The sandwiches are greasy enough that they slide right through you. They're a better laxative than Oreos, and there are darned few laxatives as good as Oreos.

So Applebees Is Promoting Loose Bowels?

The only thing I can figure out is that they don't know where sliders got their name.

Craig Ferguson says he loves sliders. He waltzes around in his home, naked, with a slider in each hand. Women think they are cute - and they make his Whopper look bigger.

There being no Aluminum Room in Lancaster County, I buy sliders by the six-pack at Aldi's. It costs $2.99 for a box of three two-packs, and it takes about 90 seconds to microwave two two-packs to the degree of doneness I prefer.

Do Applebees, Red Robin, and Friendly offer a steamed part-organ-meat patty? Do they assert that their sandwiches are purgative in nature? Or are they merely offering cute little burger sandwiches?

Don Hall restaurants in Fort Wayne used to offer a six-pack of mini-burgers, back in the 1980s. I don't know if they still have them. They don't have White Castle in Fort Wayne, but Powers offers their own purgative sandwich, perhaps even a little bit more tasty than a genuine White Castle.

And in Lima, Ohio, they have the Kewpee. "Hamburg, pickle on top, makes your heart go flippity flop". People in Lima think they're wonderful, and they are, but while they're small, they're mini-hamburgers, and they aren't gut bombs.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
Applebees - Craig Ferguson - Don Hall - Friendly's - Kewpee - laxative - Oreo - Red Robin - sliders